Running Of The Idiots

As you probably have heard, two American brothers participated in Spain’s “Running Of The Bulls” and got gored.

Now, I’ll admit, my brother and me did a lot of stupid things together. If I remember correctly, I cracked his front tooth with a baseball and he almost broke my neck when we went down our driveway in our metal wagon and it flipped over.

However, we were kids. When your young, you do a lot of stupid things that seemed perfectly safe at the time, like when we thought we could follow deer tracks like pioneers but ended up lost in the woods for five hours.

But these two genius, Lawrence Lenahan, 26, of Hermosa Beach, Calif., and his brother, Michael Lenahan, 23, of Philadelphia, Pa., didn’t think that being chased by six 1,300-pound bulls and six steers would result in any injuries. Michael Lenahan had his skin pierced by a bull’s horn, while his brother, Lawrence, had a bull's horn slice through his left cheek, the one that he uses to sit down on.

Sure, we can chalk it up to youth. After all, they are in their 20’s. However, like misery, stupidity likes company. The ages of the other runners who were also gored are between 23 to 50. Unless the 50-year-old had a big red S on his shirt, he should have had the intelligence to realize his not young or fast any more.

With age comes wisdom, usually. When I was a kid, I jumped off the sixth step of a flight of stairs in my house, thinking nothing of it. Now, I won’t even consider jumping off the first step, fearing that I may slip and break something. So, being chased by a few 1,300-pound bulls really wouldn’t cross my mind. Sure, I would fantasize it and who wouldn’t? I can see the appeal of it. But that’s where it ends.

Because the reality is my once firm, big muscles are now really strong flab. My brother’s curse that I would get fat from eating ice cream before bed while at college is firmly in place and prevents me from running away from a butterfly much less a more than half-ton beast of pure anger and two very sharp horns on its head.

Of course, if I were in my former body, my brother and I would still have enough sense not to be chased by something that should really be on my BBQ grill but that’s just me.