Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Spitzer Screws Himself
In A Poetic Justice Style

Unless one has been living an a rock the past few days, New York Democratic Gov. Eliot Spitzer announced today that he’s resigning amid findings that he allegedly paid $80,000 for hookers, or super delegates as some are calling them these days.

Spitzer has a long career of fighting corporate corruption and various types of fraud and you would think that someone with his track record would realize that eventually, someone will do an undercover investigation, such as the infamous New York Times. And that’s what the New York Times did. They said, “Let me whip this out,” and aired one of Spitzer’s hooker’s dirty fishnet stockings for all the world to see. Also, do hookers at the Emperors Club VIP, where Spitzer allegedly found his “constituents,” even wear fishnet stockings or is that a tired cliché?

And that’s the most puzzling aspect of all of this. It’s not that happy Republicans were calling for Spitzer’s resignation or why his wife of more than 20 years was standing by her man (and probably the number of a divorce lawyer in her pocket), far more were wondering why he didn’t think he would get caught.

After all, this has to be one of the biggest, ironic comeuppance in political history … until next week when some politician, who never heard of the charges against Spitzer, gets his hands caught in a cookie jar or a foot under a public men’s bathroom stall or any number of shenanigans.

And what does this say about the intelligence levels of our elected leaders? If Spitzer has to sleep with a number of hookers (and that seems to be a huge burden that many politicians seem compelled to take on), I wouldn’t want him caught. Because if he’s caught, not only is it hypocrisy on his part because of his work at the New York District Attorney’s office, but it shows we have a stupid politician. Personally, I want my elected officials to be crooked and smart. But that’s just me.

All kidding aside, just for the moment anyway, let’s give Spitzer some credit. While he hurt his loved ones and colleagues, at least he didn’t let it drag out, which would further hurt his wife and the Democratic Party. Despite what he did, I do give him a lot of credit for that.

But watching politicians screw up on this level has become a favorite past time for many political junkies. It’s far more entertaining than watching a rare, exotic one-eyed cockatoo. While we savor the juices that Spitzer found himself in, we can only wonder what type of elaborate trap some dimwitted elected official will find himself in next.

And on a side note, because of the time of year it is, one has to ask: Is paying for hookers at the swanky Emperors Club tax deductible?